How To Put Yourself First When You're Going Through Change

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Last week I shared a story about Marge who discovered, a few months ago, that she was going to be made redundant. (Laid off)

Marge was already planning to leave corporate. She’d been coaching with me for several months.

She was mentally packing up her desk, planning her leaving party and booking her ‘Fuck it, I’ve left corporate so I can get my nose pierced’ appointment.

But it still came as a bit of a shock to Marge.

She felt like the decision had been taken out of her hands so she felt a little dis-empowered.

She also felt shame. The story of ‘people will think that I’m crap at my job’ kept coming up.

Luckily, Marge was one of my clients, so I was able to coach her through the process. Now she’s happily leaving corporate, starting her own online business and sharing her news with anyone and everyone!

So what were the steps that helped Marge get to a place where she felt empowered once again and not stuck in her fear?

Well the first step was putting herself first. 

This was difficult for Marge because she had a husband and children to think of. 

Even though she was a successful, highly paid career woman, she was used to putting others before herself. It was default behaviour.

So when she first heard she would be laid off, her immediate thoughts went to her family and making sure that they were ok. She felt guilty for putting them through it.

But you can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself so you can physically and mentally care for others. 

And Marge wasn’t taking care of herself.

So what made the biggest difference for her, was to start taking care of herself again. 

She negotiated some time off. She took time out to do more of the things that she loved to do, lit her up and made her happy.

And even though she was at her happiest when she was with her hubby and kids…this time re-charging her batteries meant she was more present when she was with them so they had QUALITY time.

Looking back, Marge swears hands down that her self care was the biggest contributor to working through the change.

But there were other steps that she took to becoming ‘Playing Large Marge’ which I share in the video below.

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Abigail Rebecca