It's Not All About Me But This Bit Is!
When I came back to the UK after travelling around the world in my twenties, I felt that I needed to secure a ‘proper’ job, get a house and a mortgage and settle down.
I was 10 years behind all my friends who had been busy ‘adulting’ while I was busy travelling, partying and generally having a great time.
So I applied for a job with a big international travel company. Before I knew it, 14 years later I was in an executive position, working in the corporate head office with a house and a mortgage.
I still travelled the world, staying in luxury hotels but now I managed a big team and exciting projects.
If you'd seen me at the time, you probably would have thought that I'd ‘fallen on my feet’ (a term often used by my friends to describe me) but inside I felt absolutely miserable.
I remember leaving work on Friday evenings, excited about the weekend and then waking up on Saturday morning, knowing that I only had two days off work and already starting to dread Monday morning.
It didn't matter what I was doing, at the back of my mind I was worried about Monday and I robbed myself of my weekends because I hated my job so much.
My partner Kev was so supportive but wasn’t enjoying his weekends either, especially when I’d spend all day Sunday stressing out about going to work the next day.
My favourite way to deal with the stress was eating.
I ate my feelings, I stuffed away the distraction and of course I started to put on weight so my solution was to dress in black to try and cover up the weight gain.
I didn't want to stand out, I didn't want people to see me. I stopped behaving like the dynamic, powerful fun loving woman that I was
I was extremely stressed and developed a heart condition.
On 2 occasions I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with blue lights flashing because I had a heartbeat of 210 (it should be 60).
Even after late night trips to the emergency room, putting on a lot of weight, losing my weekends and putting strain on my relationship I still refused to even consider the thought of giving up my job.
I'd worked so hard to get to where I was. I didn’t want to be seen as a failure and I also didn’t want to give up my status.
What would I do? How could I give up the perks? How on earth would I pay the mortgage?
And then I went on vacation to the Canary Islands and had a really bad episode where my heart beat was 220 for 48 hours non-stop.
I was forced to admit that enough was enough so I made the decision to leave my soul sucking job even though I had no idea how I was going to actually do it.
6 months later I left and started my own business. I also started living my life again.
Since than I’ve learned to love and accept myself again. I’ve become a lot calmer and tolerant. I really love the person I’ve become.
I feel beautiful on the outside as well as the inside. I’ve learned that it’s important to practice self care. I eat more healthily, move my body more and look and feel amazing.
And the best part?
I wake up excited every morning but especially on Monday morning because I just love my job, my clients and the difference I’m making in the world.
I help smart and independent women escape their soul sucking corporate jobs so they can feel fulfilled, happy and purposeful without risking financial security or status.
Oh BTW, I also earn far more than when I worked in corporate!
I've mended my broken heart.
If you take just one thing away from my story, take this:
I didn’t see the path forward before leaving my executive job but I got the support and the clarity I needed to make the CHOICE.
From there things unfolded.
The same is possible for you. I’m here to help.